The following is a Facebook response to both my blog, and Jenn G.'s contributing post
"I read most of your articles, if that's what you want to call them, and they're very well writeen. I am someone who has been pushed from the centre-left by the centre-left into the arms of the right. To the point where I find myself defending the CPC and Harper. Your works are good and make good points, they're well thought out and well developed. I do not agree with your beliefs but I see where you're coming from. I know the feeling about walking past someone hopeless and feeling sorry for them. Now I have come to accept I can't change that, and that I only live one life, I can't spend it worrying about why someone I don't know and never will is poor and homeless."
And this personal realization is what drove this individual to support Harper. These are the views our Prime Minister represents.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
Harpersick
The following is my response to Jenn G.'s Worldsick
I listen to my mother complain about her inability to get a job, at her age. Who wants to employ a senior, no matter how qualified? No matter how hard working? "She'll retire in a year or two and then we have to pay her out." No, no you don't. Who gets retirement these days? Who gets a pension? We work until we're 75, and then live off of food stamps. We won't keep a good worker whose older in case we have to repay them for their work. But a new company won't hire someone because of their age. The corporate world hasn't adjusted for the fact that people live to the age of two or three careers. That men and women go back to school and start again in a new job, at the bottom, working their way up in a company at the age of 50, like the 18 year olds used to do without having dropped a hundred thousand dollars on an education that they'll need to upgrade (thanks to creeping credentials) in ten years anyways.
I listen to my father come in to the office at 5am and leave at 7pm. He takes no lunch. He takes nothing more than a 2 - 3 minute cigarette break once or twice per day. I listen to him grind away at the law, fighting for terminated benefits for a man who has been laid off after thirty years with one company. I listen to him fight for denied life insurance for a woman whose husband dropped dead at the age of 40 leaving her, a housewife, with three children to feed and a mortgage to pay, with no income, no social assistance, and soon no home. I watch him grow tired, I watch him argue, I watch him say yes, he'll call back tomorrow, when the switchboard hours are open again. The big fat insurance men have to be home for dinner, you know. It doesn't matter that Mrs. Dead Husband can't feed HER kids tonight.
I watch Dan's father find projects around the house to keep himself busy. A working man, a hard working man, 60 years old who by Canadian statistics should be retired but for those of us in the real world means he has another decade of work before he can survive. Laid off, nothing to do for the winter. And someone on the phone from India denies him unemployment, the unemployment he has paid for his entire life, as mandated by the government.
Our government is consciously reducing the benefits a Canadian citizen can receive while on unemployment, and is consciously reducing the probability of qualifying for unemployment in the first place. Correlating with this is the staggering conscious notion of reduced Canadian jobs. The statistics to support this are disgusting. Especially pertaining to women.
Our government approves policies that keep Canadians from getting jobs, and the approves policies that keep Canadians from receiving assistance while they are unemployed. Is this not a fundamental flaw in ANY person's idea of government? Leftist, Liberal, Conservative... it's all irrelevant. Is the government, in its fundamental, most primal state, not supposed to provide some sort of incentive and/or support for its citizens welfare (i.e. work), regardless of the name of their party?
Who is benefiting from these policies? Why are they being passed without a fight? Why are Canadians not saying to themselves, "I'm unemployed, and cannot support my family, and have no assistance. My government is responsible for me."
And then these people, these same people who sit across from your dinner table complaining of the rise in the cost of living, complaining of their EI rejection, complaining of their lack of benefit package, the people sitting in the cubicle next to you scrapping against 100 other students for the same menial job just for one more line to add to their resume, hoping it's one line more than any other competitor, the man idling in his truck on his way to a car factory that's about to be closed down, the lawyer in his suit in his office whose at work before dawn...
These are the people that check off "Stephen Harper" in the voting booth. These are the people who don't SEE that one tiny check mark is a wrung in a ladder that starts with our government, and ends in a ballot box. And that ladder descends straight into poverty, and hell.
I listen to my father come in to the office at 5am and leave at 7pm. He takes no lunch. He takes nothing more than a 2 - 3 minute cigarette break once or twice per day. I listen to him grind away at the law, fighting for terminated benefits for a man who has been laid off after thirty years with one company. I listen to him fight for denied life insurance for a woman whose husband dropped dead at the age of 40 leaving her, a housewife, with three children to feed and a mortgage to pay, with no income, no social assistance, and soon no home. I watch him grow tired, I watch him argue, I watch him say yes, he'll call back tomorrow, when the switchboard hours are open again. The big fat insurance men have to be home for dinner, you know. It doesn't matter that Mrs. Dead Husband can't feed HER kids tonight.
I watch Dan's father find projects around the house to keep himself busy. A working man, a hard working man, 60 years old who by Canadian statistics should be retired but for those of us in the real world means he has another decade of work before he can survive. Laid off, nothing to do for the winter. And someone on the phone from India denies him unemployment, the unemployment he has paid for his entire life, as mandated by the government.
Our government is consciously reducing the benefits a Canadian citizen can receive while on unemployment, and is consciously reducing the probability of qualifying for unemployment in the first place. Correlating with this is the staggering conscious notion of reduced Canadian jobs. The statistics to support this are disgusting. Especially pertaining to women.
Our government approves policies that keep Canadians from getting jobs, and the approves policies that keep Canadians from receiving assistance while they are unemployed. Is this not a fundamental flaw in ANY person's idea of government? Leftist, Liberal, Conservative... it's all irrelevant. Is the government, in its fundamental, most primal state, not supposed to provide some sort of incentive and/or support for its citizens welfare (i.e. work), regardless of the name of their party?
Who is benefiting from these policies? Why are they being passed without a fight? Why are Canadians not saying to themselves, "I'm unemployed, and cannot support my family, and have no assistance. My government is responsible for me."
And then these people, these same people who sit across from your dinner table complaining of the rise in the cost of living, complaining of their EI rejection, complaining of their lack of benefit package, the people sitting in the cubicle next to you scrapping against 100 other students for the same menial job just for one more line to add to their resume, hoping it's one line more than any other competitor, the man idling in his truck on his way to a car factory that's about to be closed down, the lawyer in his suit in his office whose at work before dawn...
These are the people that check off "Stephen Harper" in the voting booth. These are the people who don't SEE that one tiny check mark is a wrung in a ladder that starts with our government, and ends in a ballot box. And that ladder descends straight into poverty, and hell.
Worldsick
The following was written by Jenn G., a future contributor to the (herein much more active) Confessions of a Communist.
I'm worldsick.
I can't take being the only one who cares. I feel like feeling something when I walk by a homeless man (there are lots in St. Kitt's) is frowned upon; like it shows I'm naive or "too young" or too much of an idealist.
I don't like people telling me that this election will result in a Conservative majority. Honestly the thought of it makes me sick. I feel physically ill thinking about it. Everyone I talk to seems to like the NDP, but it's a "wasted vote". If they would all just fucking vote for who they wanted we'd have a chance!
I see myself lusting after electronic drum sets and I want to shake myself awake. I DON'T FUCKING NEED IT. I'm aware we live in a consumer culture and I think by now I've taken it to heart that everything is fabricated and nothing should be real enough to affect me, personally, (I mean out there in media central) but some days I wake up and I note to myself, "Hmmm, better hit the gym" and I wonder why that is (with dismay).
I see myself unable (and perhaps unwilling) to be free from this. I see Harper skewing ads to the point where they aren't even remotely true and I see people shaking their heads and saying, "Well, it may be true that he's lying but he has a point... I didn't like that whole coalition thing and besides, Harper saves me money." THEY SAY THIS in front of the homeless, even as cars bounce around on terrible roads, as our social fabric collapses around us. And I want to say, shake, SCREAM at them. "HOW CAN YOU BE SO FUCKING BLIND TO WHAT'S GOING ON RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU?! YOU DON'T NEED A BENZ, YOU DON'T NEED THAT TAX CUT SO YOU CAN GO TO CUBA AND EXPLOIT THE ENVIRONMENT AND POVERTY EVEN FURTHER. YOU DON'T NEED IT YOU DON'T NEED IT YOU DON'T FUCKING NEED IT, AND IN YOUR CONSTANT PURSUIT OF IT (BECAUSE WE'VE BEEN TOLD WE'RE SUPPOSED TO WANT IT) YOU'VE LOST SIGHT OF THE MEANING OF EVERYTHING!!!"
Does integrity exist anymore?
I feel sick because I'm starting to understand that we need to work towards getting the raise, the benz, the dream house with the dream children doing to the dream school. Because if we don't have these stupid goals to work towards we start to realize that we're working for nothing. I see myself, waking up at 6:45, having a shower, packing up baby carrots and other veggies in ziploc containers, going to work from 8:30-4:30, hitting the gym after, and coming home. And I'm thinking, "What about this makes me happy? Why do I feel so productive after work? I don't actually do anything that makes a difference. I just feel like I'm working towards something."
But what am I working towards? Paying off my debt, though I realize the entire time that as soon as it's paid off another will sprout up. Why have I spent that past 10 years of my life gunning for a career where I can influence things just so I feel worthwhile and justified in all the effort I've spent getting myself here? Why should I care about Dean's List? (to be honest, I haven't really cared much since high school, but I've been putting on the face without any of the effort required to take genuine joy in my supposed "accomplishment").
Everyone around me praises me for my "achievements". I know my parents are proud to say I'm in a "good" career, that I get good grades at a good school, that I seem "well-rounded" and pay my bills on time and am increasingly independent thanks to my success (so far) at getting well-paying co-op jobs.
But it doesn't matter, and it won't even matter, and no one around me seems to notice. I'm fucking eating blueberries right now because I felt I should increase my fruit and veggie intake........... For fuck's sake. IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER.
I don't know how to reconcile feeling aware (though I know it's still dawning) of the fabrication of society with my inability to rid myself of it. I want to scrub myself until I no longer feel guilty about not going to the gym, until I no longer feel stupid for wanting the world to be better, until I no longer feel sexier after I've shaved. I want to blast my music until I'm no longer concerned with how others will percieve me, or how strange people will find me if I "go rogue".
I mean, no one drops out of the best university when they're getting excellent grades and excellent marks in co-op, now do they? And for what? What would I do? Start up the queer homeless shelter? I'd be dismissed before I even had a chance to say it's the only thing I feel driven to participate in.
I feel torn between my idealism and my rationality more than I've ever felt it before. It's been a constant undertone for me, throughout; a constant bubbling. But the pressure is causing a fissure, and I'm not sure if I'll end up on the
LEFT
when the
RIGHT
is all people are concerned with.
In a world where we're all taught so many things, is it even possible to remove yourself? To shake yourself awake? To see the AMERICAN DREAM for what it is? (that is, a dream, or a nightmare of self-centered social negligence)
I see people outside, idling their cars, and as much as it makes me angry I'm aware that I'd be embarrassed to go out there and tell them it bothers me so deeply. After all, it's just ONE CAR, it's just FIVE MINUTES, and it can't possibly be contributing to anything. HE'S JUST ONE PERSON, he can't possibly have any impact, never ever ever, so why not just do what he wants?
Why? I can't fucking stand feeling like I'm the only one who's angry, like I'm the only one who cries reading the news, like I'm the only one who feels like everyone around them is brainwashed.
Yet I'm fucking eating blueberries, sitting at a desk, and in front of me are things I've arranged into orderly piles (in order of importance and priority), and my hi-lighter is beside a pile, and my fruits and veggies are beside my reusable water bottle, beside my resuable ziploc containers.
And the saddest part of all of this is that the fact that I do feel partially pacified using reusable items, and I do feel superior when I turn my car off and shiver beside someone idling their truck. I fucking sit there and shiver in a self-righteous rage.
I'm worldsick.
I can't take being the only one who cares. I feel like feeling something when I walk by a homeless man (there are lots in St. Kitt's) is frowned upon; like it shows I'm naive or "too young" or too much of an idealist.
I don't like people telling me that this election will result in a Conservative majority. Honestly the thought of it makes me sick. I feel physically ill thinking about it. Everyone I talk to seems to like the NDP, but it's a "wasted vote". If they would all just fucking vote for who they wanted we'd have a chance!
I see myself lusting after electronic drum sets and I want to shake myself awake. I DON'T FUCKING NEED IT. I'm aware we live in a consumer culture and I think by now I've taken it to heart that everything is fabricated and nothing should be real enough to affect me, personally, (I mean out there in media central) but some days I wake up and I note to myself, "Hmmm, better hit the gym" and I wonder why that is (with dismay).
I see myself unable (and perhaps unwilling) to be free from this. I see Harper skewing ads to the point where they aren't even remotely true and I see people shaking their heads and saying, "Well, it may be true that he's lying but he has a point... I didn't like that whole coalition thing and besides, Harper saves me money." THEY SAY THIS in front of the homeless, even as cars bounce around on terrible roads, as our social fabric collapses around us. And I want to say, shake, SCREAM at them. "HOW CAN YOU BE SO FUCKING BLIND TO WHAT'S GOING ON RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU?! YOU DON'T NEED A BENZ, YOU DON'T NEED THAT TAX CUT SO YOU CAN GO TO CUBA AND EXPLOIT THE ENVIRONMENT AND POVERTY EVEN FURTHER. YOU DON'T NEED IT YOU DON'T NEED IT YOU DON'T FUCKING NEED IT, AND IN YOUR CONSTANT PURSUIT OF IT (BECAUSE WE'VE BEEN TOLD WE'RE SUPPOSED TO WANT IT) YOU'VE LOST SIGHT OF THE MEANING OF EVERYTHING!!!"
Does integrity exist anymore?
I feel sick because I'm starting to understand that we need to work towards getting the raise, the benz, the dream house with the dream children doing to the dream school. Because if we don't have these stupid goals to work towards we start to realize that we're working for nothing. I see myself, waking up at 6:45, having a shower, packing up baby carrots and other veggies in ziploc containers, going to work from 8:30-4:30, hitting the gym after, and coming home. And I'm thinking, "What about this makes me happy? Why do I feel so productive after work? I don't actually do anything that makes a difference. I just feel like I'm working towards something."
But what am I working towards? Paying off my debt, though I realize the entire time that as soon as it's paid off another will sprout up. Why have I spent that past 10 years of my life gunning for a career where I can influence things just so I feel worthwhile and justified in all the effort I've spent getting myself here? Why should I care about Dean's List? (to be honest, I haven't really cared much since high school, but I've been putting on the face without any of the effort required to take genuine joy in my supposed "accomplishment").
Everyone around me praises me for my "achievements". I know my parents are proud to say I'm in a "good" career, that I get good grades at a good school, that I seem "well-rounded" and pay my bills on time and am increasingly independent thanks to my success (so far) at getting well-paying co-op jobs.
But it doesn't matter, and it won't even matter, and no one around me seems to notice. I'm fucking eating blueberries right now because I felt I should increase my fruit and veggie intake........... For fuck's sake. IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER.
I don't know how to reconcile feeling aware (though I know it's still dawning) of the fabrication of society with my inability to rid myself of it. I want to scrub myself until I no longer feel guilty about not going to the gym, until I no longer feel stupid for wanting the world to be better, until I no longer feel sexier after I've shaved. I want to blast my music until I'm no longer concerned with how others will percieve me, or how strange people will find me if I "go rogue".
I mean, no one drops out of the best university when they're getting excellent grades and excellent marks in co-op, now do they? And for what? What would I do? Start up the queer homeless shelter? I'd be dismissed before I even had a chance to say it's the only thing I feel driven to participate in.
I feel torn between my idealism and my rationality more than I've ever felt it before. It's been a constant undertone for me, throughout; a constant bubbling. But the pressure is causing a fissure, and I'm not sure if I'll end up on the
LEFT
when the
RIGHT
is all people are concerned with.
In a world where we're all taught so many things, is it even possible to remove yourself? To shake yourself awake? To see the AMERICAN DREAM for what it is? (that is, a dream, or a nightmare of self-centered social negligence)
I see people outside, idling their cars, and as much as it makes me angry I'm aware that I'd be embarrassed to go out there and tell them it bothers me so deeply. After all, it's just ONE CAR, it's just FIVE MINUTES, and it can't possibly be contributing to anything. HE'S JUST ONE PERSON, he can't possibly have any impact, never ever ever, so why not just do what he wants?
Why? I can't fucking stand feeling like I'm the only one who's angry, like I'm the only one who cries reading the news, like I'm the only one who feels like everyone around them is brainwashed.
Yet I'm fucking eating blueberries, sitting at a desk, and in front of me are things I've arranged into orderly piles (in order of importance and priority), and my hi-lighter is beside a pile, and my fruits and veggies are beside my reusable water bottle, beside my resuable ziploc containers.
And the saddest part of all of this is that the fact that I do feel partially pacified using reusable items, and I do feel superior when I turn my car off and shiver beside someone idling their truck. I fucking sit there and shiver in a self-righteous rage.
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